Have you ever seen these letters at the bottom of any wedding invitations you've received? Most people see it, but don't really understand what it means. This is why they ignore it and just show up at events bringing the whole family plus the old family friend, Uncle Barney. You remember him; he always came over for afternoon tea. There goes your budget and seating arrangement.

RSVP literally translates to please respond or please reply. It asks your guests to be considerate and let you know if they can make it or not and exactly how many of them there will be. Doing this means you can plan where to seat them. It allows you to ensure that they are at a table with family or friends they may want to chat with. It also means that they can be seated together.

Knowing though that most won't call to confirm, here are some ways that you can find out if the people you want present will be at your nuptials:

- Instead of RSVP write a short request in your language. For example you can say, "Please call Emily (coordinator's name) at (specify the number) and confirm that you will be able to join us for our celebration." It feels more personal than just seeing the letters RSVP followed by a name and number.

- If you don't mind the slight addition to your budget, have reply cards made. If they are already stamped and self addressed it will really be inconsiderate of them not to let you know if they can make it or not.

- Set a date and assign someone (maybe the maid of honor and best man) to call everyone on your guestlist who has not confirmed their attendance. Most actually prefer this since they get instant confirmation and can quickly compile the list.

Personally I'd always recommend going for the personal approach like this, rather than relying on "RSVP" and 'hoping' your guests respond.